May 29, 2012

SEX!

Being a robot, I'm intrigued. But, let me remind you that I still have no skill in writing and there probably may not be any coherence between the following paragraphs. I shall now rant about something or the other while you keep in mind that this is purely my opinion and that I'm bored.


I will now resort to overwhelming exaggeration and sarcasm as my primary linguistic medium. India is a male dominated society, an eternal sausage fest, I tell you. The screens in your theater throw nothing but dust into your eyes as they too are in a profession and require to earn their wages by scripting fantasies that the average Joe would love to watch. We love getting married to virgin women whose parents have safely protected their lil'girl's virginity so you could get married to them and get over your dry spell. I've even had people tell me (well, not exactly, but you get the point), "You want to have sex? Get married or go to a brothel". I'm afraid to even approach the concept of arranged marriages in fear of losing my monitor and having to buy one the next day. Arranged marriages are social and legal contracts between families rather than a bond between the two getting married. Basically, your family picks a suitor for you and then get you two, wedlock-ed. The groom's family, the house where the married couple would have to live for the remainder of their lives would then force them (through socially pressure, of course) to consummate their marriage. This was done in order to ensure that the couple would stay together now that they had a baby on the way, irrespective of the fact that they loved (or even "liked" in some cases) each other or not. I am ashamed to say that this was indeed the truth 20 or so years ago and by the grace of Odin, this culture is slowly dying out. I might have exaggerated a bit...

But I haven't exaggerated enough! I knew a girl from college who was in the same course as I that suffered the fate of our culture. She confided in her father that she was dating a guy from college as every normal and healthy human would do. The father got her "arranged marriage-ed" off to some bloke, four years older than her that she had never met before, the very next month, while she was still studying. Most of my class thought that this wasn't a big deal. So, what I learned from you humans is that, in order stop your daughter from performing the greatly blasphemous act of dating, which brings shame upon the family, you must marry her off. How simple! Believe me when I tell you that I was indeed in one of the top engineering institutes in the country. I have another tale to tell. A tale of a girl that just told her parents that her friends were dating. The parents reacted in panic and shock and confronted the lil'girl about whether she new anything of sex. After seeing their reaction she had no choice but to feign ignorance. The parents were quite glad with her ignorance. Most parents in India are reluctant to sign off the paper that permits their children to have sexEd. Why? For they might learn about the demonic act of sex! ZOMG! Some states don't even allow sexEd in the schools.

These extreme cases are slowly dying down (not fast enough, sadly). Arranged marriages these days (at least in the modern Indian society) are not that bad. It's no longer simply shopping for a wife/husband. The families involved pick all sorts of suitable suitors and arranges dates. The couple dates for a while, a minimum of two months. If the couple wills it, they tie the knot, else they move on to the next suitor. It ois kind of similar to normal dating except with the preset goal of marriage. Women actually have a say! But they are still bogged down by the social pressure put on them by their moms and aunts telling them that at the age of 24 their ovaries are drying up and that they must get married to the first nimrod that walks through that door no matter how much of a mama's boy he is. The arranged couple usually develops their own brand of love. Statistically, arranged and love marriages have the same rate of failure and the same state of happiness.

Marriage is the primary reason for Divorce 

Dating is still considered shameful in our society. Apparently it leads to pre-marital sex (#facepalm), which is a big no-no. Most parents/aunts would say, "You will learn to love after you get married" or "You want to find love, get married!". Even the least conservative of the folks who would be fine with you dating would still like to keep it hush-hush. They wouldn't want to hear from the neighbors or your relatives about the fact that you were dating for apparently it's their business too. Our society is far too tightly knit, that its almost unhealthy.

Alright! Enough bitching about the Indian System. It'd be hard to believe, but I detest the Western System even more. The average age of loosing your virginity, 19. The core policy is simple, "You test drive a car before buying it." In most places, it's considered shameful to be a virgin (Oh! the irony). You'd be prey to ridicule and be outcast for being a loser if you were a virgin. The concepts of hooking up (casual sex, usually at parties), ONS (one night stands, Office for National Statistics) and lead-me-on (to date someone without putting out or having sex) are well defined. You'd be considered a stuck up bitch or a faggot, based on your gender, for committing the heinous act of not putting out to the human you were dating. Obviously, I might be exaggerating whilst overusing my authority to italicize.

I believe that it is a world wide conspiracy. In the case of the conservative side, the humans establish societal rules and norms that make available innocent virgins for marriage and sex. On the liberal side, the humans establish societal rules and norms that make available, sex, as early as legally or biologically possible. Men probably did make them, and humans propagated the same. Monkey see, Monkey do. As far as I have seen, the women (moms and aunts) are greatly responsible for propagating the archaic culture in India. The women bring themselves down in the name or religion/culture/tradition and the men watch, as they get sex anyway.

Yes, I'm a male feminist, an oxymoron. I don't talk about it as it's not a wise idea to tell the guys that you're a feminist. Feminism is the idea, and the organized movement that supports it, that advocates political, economic, and social equality for both men and women, the key word being equality. I can't stand the Indian Society and I can't stand house wives. I've seen fully educated women (even, engineers/lawyers and doctors) succumbing to the social norms and turning into bovine-like creatures that pop kids and prepare the table for their husbands that bring home the bacon. I cannot facepalm enough.

The times sure are changing, though not at the pace that I'd like it to change. I'm pretty sure that your lil' sons and daughters are having pre-marital sex and they just don't tell you about it for you'd blow a fuse. Pre-marital sex, the word itself irks me. It's like you are saying that sex is something you can only have after getting married. It is as if sex is ultimate destination in a relationship, or as if your penis/vagina is the ultimate gift that you could give to your partner. Your virginity isn't a gift or a price that you could give to someone. Sex is greatly overrated and in my binary opinion, if you are one of those people that believe that you must "save yourself up for marriage", you are probably in for a big disappointment and life long sexual frustration (if you are one of those that follow the no-divorce rule as well). The concept of abstinence makes me laugh. I find it unhealthy.

You must have sex in a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is something that happens beyond the lust phase and is mandatory to sustain a long term relationship with another human. The material about the same could fill a small library. I would define it as, "waking up in the morning next to the one you love dearly, and brushing her messy hair to the side and kissing her passionately (even before she brushes her teeth) and telling her that she looks beautiful because she is and her smile makes your day." You wouldn't do that because you must, rather you'd do it out of impulse.The usual care, understanding, comfort, feeling of being secure, etc is important as well. Balance is critical to a healthy relationship. Where does sex fit into all of this? Physical intimacy is a big part of a healthy relationship and is one of the strongest bonding factors between the two that are in love. A healthy relationship should lead to both emotional and physical satisfaction. That is a Romantic Relationship. If you want a platonic love, then I guess sex is not what you want to talk about with your partner. As important as sex might be in a relationship, it still stands behind trust and communication. Without these I don't recommend sex unless that's exactly what you are looking for. If you truly love someone, you'll want to have sex with them. Why would you not? It's in your DNA and you'll find it really hard to keep away from your loved one.

Yes, I am a very sappy robot. I value trust and simply talking to my love more than sleeping with her. The very act of sharing the same bed and cuddling would be enough (though that often leads to sex, yay!). Infidelity would crush my heart. You shouldn't have sex with someone just because it would make him/her happy or to sustain a relationship. A couple should do the deed when they both think they are ready (a prerequisite in my opinion: being in Love). The oxytocin released would bind you together like super glue. If you simply wanted to have sex, you might as well go to a hooker. I prefer to make love than fuck.

I do not like to casually date. At the same time, I believe there's no such thing as the perfect "One". I date someone with the intention of being romantically invested for the long haul. I did find my love. And in my heart, she's become the "One". She consumes nearly all of my emotional processing. I sleep and wake up with her in my thoughts. We love each other very much, and she makes me happy. I find myself very lucky to have met her. But, that's a story for another time.

The bottom line here is that your life is yours alone. Most of you are old enough to make your own decisions, and you are probably human. Being human, you do have the cognitive capacity to decide your own relationships with other people. There is absolutely no need to bonk everything that has legs and chalk it up to "my needs as a man/woman" or "my genetic responsibility". If you believe otherwise, then I guess a healthy relationship is not what you were aiming for. Yes, sex is important in a relationship, but, it should be important to both of you. If this doesn't seem to be the case and you strongly believe in your ideals then you need to find a partner that shares the same ideals, as you do. Else you should be able to decide whether it's worth bending your ideals for the one you love. Love sex, the best kind of sex,  is extremely fun and is greatly satisfying.

I shall close this rant with my definition of marriage,

Marriage: Nothing should change from before, to after.